Lauren thank you for this e-mail, if this isn't funny I don't know what is!!
This is from my friend eric... Fucking hilarious!!!!
[AWAY] Jay-z is so good at rapping, he doesn't have to rhyme in his
songs anymore, he just ends all the lines with "izzah." He'd be like,
"I went down the street and I saw my sizzah, wazzah to my nizzah and my
brozzah and my gizzah." I'm pretty sure none of those are words. I
ain't
playing scrabble with Jay-z any time soon! "The word is Drizzah,
D-R-I-Z-Z-A-H, triple word." And I'm like, "Yeah I'm ganna have to
challenge that one Jay. I'm ganna check my dictionizzah. First of all
that's not a word, and second of all one of your z's is a sideways n!"
15 PIECES OF ADVICE TO BE PASSED ON TO YOUR DAUGHTERS And BEST FRIENDS.
1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.
2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door.
3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.
4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.
5. Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.
6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.
7. Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
9. Best way to get a man to do something, is to suggest he is too old for it.
10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical
times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell
him checkbooks.
14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him
jokes, it means that you laugh at his.
15. Sadly, all men are created equal.
|
What's That You Say?
 NEVER SAY TO A COP
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
5. Are Yo! u Andy o r Barney? 
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
8. I pay your salary!
9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyeslook glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"
|
